The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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