at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
