matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
