Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
