nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If I die, sorry about rent.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
