Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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