i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
