The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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