they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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