i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
