Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you guys were way drunker than both of me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She needs sedatives and a leash
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
