He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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