its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
