please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
