I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
