capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
