like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
