member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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