my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
