im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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