you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
