all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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