so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
