I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
