I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How naked do you want me to be?
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