I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
