is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
