I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
