I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
