I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
