dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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