Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
