In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
