When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
