I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
