I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
