if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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