I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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