yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Duck Duck Cougar?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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