ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
