Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
