I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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