After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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