I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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