Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
this is an emotional support booty call
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
