No stitches, just platelets and will power
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
