i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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