is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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