Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
