i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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