i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
