After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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